Geese & Ducks

feathers

Breeze was watching the geese and ducks. He was being careful. They did not like ogres. The trouble was they thought he might chase, catch and eat them all in that order. But Breeze only watched them because he like drawing them. What do you think? Is he improving at drawing?

A note from Breeze.

Hi,

I understand some people are asking why is there a fishing line dangling down the side of a blog site about a wood?

The answer is simple. The worm – Hector and I have found a great use for this.

It happened by chance when I was taking a nap in my favourite tree after a morning spent fishing (I caught nothing!)

The rod slipped and the hook slid down to the ground where Mrs. Groundsel was laying out a picnic for her grand children. My hook caught on a berry pie. I woke found the rod lying across my feet and pulled the line up to discover – a nice warm berry pie.

So there you have it, – Hector hops on the hook, I lower him over those people below having a picnic and he finds a tasty snack for this ogre. In return I allow Hector’s family to live in the mossy mound outside my cave undisturbed, guaranteed never to be dug.

Breeze discovers a scary thing – And makes two new friends.

At almost seven foot tall, Breeze is not afraid or so he believed until the morning he almost trod on the scariest looking object he has ever seen.

He was walking slowly. The reason for this was simple. He could hear an unusual sound. It wasn’t the usual morning sound of bee’s buzzing or Mrs. Groundsel shouting at her grand children to hurry up and get out of bed. No this was a tiny sound that echoed inside his head.  The voice was high pitched and all he could hear was “No, Lizzie I said no.”

Who is Lizzie? He wondered. And looked down – then he saw a small tea pot. He questioned if this was Lizzie. A tea pot was for making tea.

Hisilicon K3

Hisilicon K3

The mention of tea reminded him why he was walking towards the witches house. They had invited him to come visit them and enjoy breakfast.  As Elegant witch was a very brilliant cook, Breeze was looking forward to his breakfast. He picked up his pace and as he did so he heard the same tin high pitched voice say, “We should have taken a left at the fork in the river not a right.” Breeze decided to leave them lost, whoever them was. He trundled on a little faster and soon smelt, pancakes, raspberry jam and berry compote much to his delight.

When he arrived it was to discover there was an argument taking place between the two witches. “Did you send the invitations to them Lovisma?” Elegant stood with a wooden spoon twitching on the table before her. Breeze noticed the spoon was keeping pace with her right foot which was tapping the ground.

“I did. It is not my fault if our stupid relations don’t want to come and visit us. They probably think you clean too much and don’t want to be bossed about.” Lovisma said.

Elegant was now looking angry and Breeze considered sneaking away however Lovisma spotted him. “Hello Mr. Breeze, would you like some of Elegants amazing pancakes?”

In answer Breeze sat down and held out a plate. When he had eaten six pancakes and drank three mugs of apple juice he said, “What relations are you missing?”

“We are not missing them, they were invited, I think” Elegant paused to look at her sister. “To come and visit with us.”

“And they didn’t bother so there is more for Breeze and me.” As Lovisma spoke there was a soft pink hiss of smoke and there before them appeared – Lizzie the teapot.

Breeze smiled. “It’s okay if they are teapots. I like tea.” He said.

Lovisma held onto her hat and laughed so much she rolled off her seat. “They are not teapots, it is their house.” Bending low she shouted “Come out and hurry up we have almost eaten all of your breakfast.”

There were two loud pops followed by rainbow coloured smoke and two large smiling witches appeared before him.

Breeze decided they were too big for a tea pot and decided not to ask any questions but to eat as many pancakes as he could before they ate them.

Reasons why most Ogres don’t climb trees.

There are many reasons why Ogres don’t climb trees (well most except for our pal Breeze).

The reasons are:

  1. They are afraid of heights.
  2. Their legs are too short.
  3. Their mums told them never to climb trees and Ogres usually obey their mums.
  4. Just like the picture says, There is a bear in the woods.

Hisilicon K3

5. Or is it because they have difficulty picking the right tree to climb? The most obvious can be spotted if you look at Fred the Ogre closely, when he looks at you, he does not see one of you he sees three because his eyes are crossed. Which is also why most ogres have odd shaped noses, from walking into doors, and ? trees.

Fred the Ogre

Fred the Ogre

7 Ways to avoid becoming an Ogre’s snack.

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  1. Look Happy.

Ogres’ love happy people and beings. Grumpy witches make them itch.

  1. Sing soft lullabyes, Ogre’s love music and have a penchant for napping.

3.  Smell like a bar of chocolate. They love smelling chocolate but hate eating it. The downside of this is if you are a slow mover you may be caught and given a cuddle,  which is tantamount to being squished.

  1. Tell them you are Breeze’s seventh cousin. By the time they figure it out you will be long gone.
  2. Offer them the book you are reading. They will read it first then eat it, giving you time to run away.
  3. Admire their clothes. They are highly fashionable and will rush to the nearest mirror to try and see what they put on that is so stunning.
  4. Bring a politician you don’t like with you, they can munch on them instead of you.