A work in progress
illustrations by Sara Ryan
I think the illustration is great but the words? I don’t think they pop off the page into the readers mind. What do you think?
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I agree, the image is great, I think the words are fine – I don’t what I would recommend changing. You left us wondering why Mr. Blunt was so grumpy and if it has anything to do with Sally’s cat. I suppose you could make it more specific – something like “Sally wondered what made Mr. Blunt (so? or suddenly?) grumpy” or Sally wondered why Mr.Blunt was grumpy. Really, I don’t think they make it any better or worse. Just my two cents. 🙂 Harlon
Thank you for your help, I will continue to post a few pages every few days.
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