Free Kid lit Chapter book on Amazon

runaway_schoolhouse_cover_Latest_151031I re blogged this on Mudpilewood for children and their parents to read and review.

decidinglybob

I am searching for reviews and have in the past given away 25 copies of my first book in the hope that reviews, good or bad would be given on Goodreads or Amazon or even here. I have received 10 from UK readers, thank you all very much and 9 from those in the USA, again thank you.

So I have put the book on Kindle for free for the next few days in the hope that more people will read and review.

The links are for Uk:

and for USA 

And here is a recent review from an Amazon customer

on June 29, 2017
Format: Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
What a terrific children’s chapter book! A fun and unique storyline, accompanied by interesting, funny, endearing characters. I loved the tale of Clearie, the sweet schoolhouse yearning to venture to France. I also loved the characters…

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A baby dragon finds her name.

She was the smallest dragon ever born. Everyone loved her. When the question was asked, “what is her name?” The answer was, “we haven’t found just the right one for this sweet little dragon yet, but we are working on it.”

The days rolled by and still she was called “sweetie.”

In desperation her mum, Katya said, “she doesn’t look fierce so we can’t call her Norberta or Saphira after her Grandmothers, I have been playing with the idea of a more traditional names of Tintaglia, Firsen and Cordelia but they don’t sound right either.”

Her dad said, “right we will work on it, but she doesn’t sound sweet today.”

And he was correct. The tiniest dragon with pink and purple scales was howling like a banshee. She hadn’t eaten in a long time. The trouble was she didn’t like anything they fed her. Her older sister Tabitha arrived at that moment clutching a bunch of nasturtiums and sweet peas. “I thought these would look nice on our salad mum.” she said walking past her baby sister.

The baby grabbed the sweet peas in her tiny claws then ate them in one swift  gulp. Tabitha stopped and smiled. “You like them, don’t you?” She held out the entire bunch to the baby. Seconds later they were gone and with a delicate belch and smile the baby fell asleep.

Tabitha looked at her mum and dad. “I think you should call her Sweet-pea.”sweet-pea-latest-hd-wallpapers-free-download-10

And they did.

Here she is, Sweetpea  my coloured-in version and a blank one for you to colour in;

 

Muddy Puddles and Ally McDuff

 

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Ally

bob thinking about ogres

Scruff

 

Ally McDuff has a best friend named Scruff.  He has a thick warm coat, four paws, a curly tail and a big smiley face.

Ally and Sruff love doing things together.

 

Trouble is they always get dirty.

“Stay clean, Ally.” Mum said.

Minutes later they were digging. Ally used a shovel. Scruf used his paws. “We will find the Pirates treasure soon, Scruff, ” she said.

By tea time they found:

An old smelly sock,

a bone,

an funny shaped blue glass bottle.

Ally peeped through the blue bottle and said, “Even you are blue, Scruff.”

“Woof” he said.

Ally looked at Scruff.  He was no longer white and black. He was dirty from nose to tail.

“This means a bath, Scruff,” Ally whispered.  She looked at her arms, she was dirty too.

“Maybe Mum won’t see it. Let’s hide.” They ran indoors.

Scruff hid under Ally’s bed. She squeezed in beside him.  “Mum won’t find us here” She said.

Mum did.  They washed Scruff first. He hated being washed.  He looked sad and wet when he was clean.

Ally was next. “Wash behind your ears,” Mum said.

When they were nice and shiny again, mum said, “Ally you are always getting dirty, someday…you might stay clean.”

“Tomorrow Scruff we will be clean all day.” Ally whispered.

Ally decided if they were to be clean, then Gran was the person to be with. Gran was the cleanest person for miles around. Her house shone in the sunlight. Her garden was squeaky clean. Though Ally wondered if the squeaky noise was made by the mice playing in the hedge.

“No chasing mice Scruff, today we will stay clean.” She said as they walked into Gran’s kitchen.

Gran was baking gingerbread men. Ally helped. Scruff sat on a stool and watched. When they put the gingerbread men in the oven to cook. shoes. Scruff has it on his fur.”tulips gingerbread man

 

Gran looked at them and smiled. “Ahh Ally you and Scruff are wearing a lot of the mixture on your face, your clothes and your face.”

Ally scowled all the way home.  She looked grumpy during and after her bath.

Next day they decided to stay indoors. Ally loved painting. Scruff joined in, splodges of paint flew around the room.

When they were finished they showed the painting to mum. “It’s great, I love it even Scruffs paw prints.”

She looked at them and sighed. “Ally you are both covered in paint.”

Ally groaned. One bath later they were sitting having tea.

“How can we stay clean?” Ally wondered.

“I have an idea,” dad said.

Next morning he said to Ally, “you are coming to help me today. I am going to wash my car and Gran’s. You and scruff can help.”

Ally looked at the bucket of water and the sponge. They couldn’t get dirty could they?

They began to wash the cars. When the y were finished the cars were shining and clean. But when they looked at each other, they were all dirty, even Dad.

“Ahh no Dad, another bath?”

“Sorry Ally, it was my fault. Don’t worry though I will make up for it tomorrow.”

Ally spent the night wondering how they were going to manage to stay clean.

Next morning Dad said “I have a reward for my two helpers, we are going out.”

He brought them to the park where they had fun on the slides, swings and roundabouts, even Scruff had a go.

They came home squeaky clean.

Well done. Ally. Mum said. “You are shining like a new Ally.”

The Munchin Family – 3

Chapter  4

 

The shivering man was saying to himself, ‘The house looks like a bank vault, they must have loads of money. I know they have loads and loads of money or valuables.’  This very thought is what led him to their front door.

The Munchin family were staring at him as though he were an alien.

Baby came back with a huge steel mug of tea and a plate with a skyscraper sandwich wobbling about on it. ‘I didn’t know what you would like so I put everything on it,’ he explained. There was indeed a great deal piled in between two slices of bread. Lettuce leaves, tomatoes, ham, chicken, cucumber, potato salad and banana peeped out from between the slices of bread. The skyscraper sandwich was behaving like a quivering mountain of jelly.

The visitor stared at the wobbling sandwich.

Baby said, ‘I’m Baby who are you?’

‘I’m Duncan!’ The burly man said.

Baby giggled. ‘Funny name, Dun can, or Dun can’t,’ he sang. His voice hit the steel walls and bounced back at Duncan. Then silently the wobbling skyscraper sandwich fell first onto Duncan’s lap and then slid piece by piece onto the floor.

‘Two second rule, ‘ Roared Granddad and everyone, except Mother Munchin and Duncan, dived on the food. Within two seconds it was gone.

Mother Munchin apologized adding, ‘I’ll get you a fresh one.  Junior take Duncan’s jacket into the kitchen and I’ll clean it for him.’ She ran off to the kitchen to make another sandwich.

They are all batty, fruity and loopy, Duncan decided. He was wondering how he could get to take a look through the rest of the house. If I had mums sleeping tablets in my pocket I could put it in their food. Because the way they eat they wouldn’t notice the funny taste. With them all asleep my job would be easier.

Mother Munchin appeared before him and handed him a neat sandwich saying, ‘You poor dear you look really pale, will I call the doctor?’

Duncan who was staring at Granddad Munchin who was doing his favorite trick, making his eyes spin. Duncan’s stomach was spinning as fast as Granddads eyes.  ‘No, if I sit quietly for a while I will be much better, thank you. It is very kind of you to offer.’

Mother Munchin beamed at Duncan. ‘Oh you do have lovely manners. Most men today have forgotten where they put their manners.’ As she was speaking she was glaring at her family. It was her favorite topic –  her family’s lack of manners.

Granddad said, ‘Is that the time?  I should be somewhere else.’ And off he went.

Father Munchin looking up at the ceiling said ‘Well we can’t let Granddad wander about by himself. I’d best go to keep an eye on him.’  All the time he was thinking, ‘I don’t like this guy, he sounds too good to be true, I’ll check him out.’ And he went into the kitchen to see what he could learn about Duncan from his wallet.

Junior opened his mouth closed it and followed his dad. Because that’s what he usually did.

Baby thought Ducan looked interesting. He wondered what would go wrong next.

Baby’s life ran on disasters. His teacher at school was always telling him this. She said it yesterday as she helped him fish his books out of the school garden pond and last week when they had to wrestle his scarf from the very fat pig called ‘Smoky’ in the school animal farm. Baby’s worst disaster had happened when he was two years of age. Baby was trapped by accident in the fridge. Luckily he had loads to eat.

So as you can tell Baby was experienced in disasters but being flattened was an interesting and new one for him. He decided stayed to watch and learn.

‘Duncan might like to lie down on my bed, Mum.’ He whispered to her.

She stared at Duncan. He was a most peculiar colour green. ‘ Yes. You are right. Good idea. Really Baby what would I do without you. I really don’t know.’

Duncan was gently steered in the direction of the stairs. He was very white faced but happy. This was his big chance to take a look at the goodies in the house.

 

Chapter 5

 

The house was very bright and very clean. Duncan said so to Mother Munchin.

She beamed at him. ‘Oh thank you, how kind of you to notice.’ She said flicking another piece of imaginary dust from the banisters as they walked slowly upstairs.

Duncan was taking a very good look at this strange house. The walls were not painted, but there was an awful lot of photographs of the Munchin family. All of the photographs had no glass in the frames. ‘Nice photo’s of your family,’ Duncan lied. Then he couldn’t help himself as he said, ‘There is no glass in the frames!’

‘No, people sometimes bang doors and glass breaks.’ Baby told him. What he didn’t say was the people who caused them to break were usually Fred and Baby playing hide and seek or football.

‘Must be a lot of history attached to a place like this,’ Duncan said.

Baby giggled. Mother Munchin said, ‘Well some of it we don’t like talking about.’

‘Especially the donut house!’ Baby said.

‘Baby, it wasn’t Granddad’s fault he loved donuts.’ Turning to Duncan she whispered, ‘The original house was wooden and shaped like a donut. Granddad started sleep eating one night and we woke up in our beds with no roof over our heads and no walls or floors either.’

Duncan’s mouth fell open. He really didn’t know what to say. The silence stretched on for a while.

Mother Munchin’s next words made him jump. ‘I love bright shiny things,’ she was twisting a gold and ruby bracelet around her wrist and didn’t notice Duncan’s strange reaction to her words.

Duncan was smiling. A very strange scary smile, Baby thought.

Duncan was dreaming of all those things he could never afford. ‘This year I’m going to have all of those nice gadgets I see in the shops. He began to list them:  a new car, the newest phone, a new camera, computer and laptop, a house and perhaps a nice big very fierce dog, to keep burglars away.

Pulling open the nearest bedroom door she said, ‘Here you are, have a nap and when you feel better we will have tea before you go.’ Mother Munchin was leaving the room and still speaking. She was excited. It was an awful long time since they had a visitor to their house.

She was planning on doing some baking for Duncan. Her mind was full of cream cakes, ginger bread men and scones as she hopped on the banisters and slid down landing with a soft, klump on the floor on her feet.

‘When he wakes up let me know.’ She said as she dashed off to the kitchen.

Baby grinned in admiration. Each time he slid down the banisters he landed on his bottom or his head!  ‘Ok.I’ll sit on the top stair and read my comic that way when he wakes I’ll know it.’ He didn’t like the way the man’s eyes grew large and hungry as they looked at his mum’s bracelet. Baby also thought Duncan smelt like a man who was trying too hard to be nice.

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Duncan

 

 

The Munchin Family Part 2

Note:

The two children are Junior and Baby.

Junior (named Alfie) looks and sounds just like his dad. Baby, is small and roly-poly like his mum. His real name is Greg but everyone is used to calling him Baby despite the fact he is eight and goes to school!

 

Our story begins on a pretty normal day; the family were enjoying a relaxing few moments after lunch when the doorbell rang.

‘Whatever is that?’ Granddad asked scratching his beard and sending crumbs flying about the room.

Baby Munchin, grinned. ‘Doorbell’ he told them. Then he went back to licking his bowl clean.

Mother Munchin smiled. ‘Well fancy that! We have a genius in the family. Baby, however did you know that?’

Baby was thinking, I can’t tell the truth, I promised Fred I wouldn’t tell.

He and his best friend, Fred play a game after school most days. Fred does most of the work because he is the fastest boy in the whole school. He races up to a door, rings the doorbell and runs to where Baby is hiding. Together they watch the people of the house come out and look for the caller. People always walk outside. Next they look up and down the street, under bushes, in cars, behind pillar-boxes for the person who rang their doorbell.

Fred and Baby are so successful at this they have made the headlines in the local paper.  The big print on the front page this morning asked, ‘Are the invisible door bell ringers really aliens?’

Baby remembers what Fred said to him, ‘be careful do not tell anyone it was us or we will get punished.’

Baby had no idea what punished meant. He asked Fred who waved a long finger at Baby saying. ‘Well my dad said he used to get beaten with a stick, my mum used to get smacks of a wooden spoon and my aunt used to get grounded.’

Baby thought this last bit was funny but after some reflection he decided that spending your day with your head stuck in the ground would not be so funny.

So he simply said, ‘Don’t know, must have learnt it at school.’

‘Clever boy,’ his mum said patting the top of his head fondly.

 

Chapter 3

The doorbell rang once again. ‘Well come on in’ Father Munchin yelled.

A deep voice shouted back, ‘I would if I could find a door handle.’

‘Just pull or push.’ the whole Munchin family shouted. Their shout whipped up enough wind to knock the birds out of the tree and to blow the door open. They could see blue sky and green grass but not a visitor or any birds.

Junior Munchin stood up and walking over looked outside. ‘There is no one there!’ He said in a puzzled voice and turned to go inside.

They heard a painful whisper, ‘I’m crushed to a pulp behind the door, help, please.’

There was a thunderous noise of trampling scampering feet as the rest of the Munchin Family arrived to rescue him.

Granddad was rubbing his hands together in anticipation of seeing a squished body.

‘Oh my, Oh my.’ Father Munchin said over and over again as he twisted a hanky in his hands. He wasn’t good at looking at blood and gore.

Baby wanted to see what a squashed person looked like and he peeped behind the door. He was disappointed there was no blood or mess. Sighing loudly he said, ‘He’s ok. He looks a funny color and is a bit squished. But he will live!’

‘Come on in and have some tea, ‘Mother Munchin said staring at the visitor.

He was a very peculiar looking fellow. His face was long and thin with a short bulbous nose set right in the middle. His eyes were huge, one was brown and the other blue. His mouth was thin and small. His hair was so tightly curled it looked like a helmet sitting on his head.

Baby Munchin stood on his head and asked, ‘Were you punished, is that what happened?’

Their visitor’s whole body was shaking from the incredible experience of being flattened and meeting the entire family.

‘Baby, get the nice man some hot tea and a sandwich.’ Mother Munchin said as she patted the man’s hand and led him to a chair.

Baby ran to do as she asked and wished Fred were here, because Baby didn’t know how to make a sandwich. All he knew about sandwiches is that he loved them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The kite with a sting in its tail

 

It was hot. There was not the sound of a single bee buzzing. The wood appeared to be empty of animals, and magical beings.

Breeze was on his way to the river. He wanted to paddle his feet. A loud rustle among the leaves above startled him. He spotted a long tail and wondered if it was a giant mouse. It darted away from him. Breeze followed. He ran from tree to tree, staring upwards. Suddenly he tripped. He hit the ground with a loud thump.

Breeze discovered he had fallen over Hamish.

“Have you no manners?” yelled Hamish. “What are you doing squishing Elves?”

Pulling himself to his feet, Breeze replied, “Sorry there is a giant mouse in the trees.”

“Don’t be silly. They live on the ground, not in trees.” Hamish lay back on his bed of moss. “Go away, it’s nap time.”

Breeze decided to leave because a grumpy elf is better left alone. He walked on looking for the mouse and Tulip stopped him to ask why he was looking upwards. He told her about the mouse.

“Lets look for it together.” She said and then they heard it.

When they looked high amongst the trees they spotted a tail with ribbons on it, in a tree.   “If it is not a mouse, what is it?”

Tulip said, “It’s a kite.” she said and flew high above him to release it.

The kite landed at his feet. “What does it do?”

kite

“I’ll show you.” Tulip took the kite and flew a short distance away. The wind caught hold  and the kite flew after her, swooping and diving. With it’s long tail dancing in the wind, it attracted a lot of attention.

Mrs. Groundsel and her grandchildren came to watch the fun.

As the kite tumbled about in the air something strange happened.

Each time it danced in a certain direction so did everyone on the ground.

If the kite dived to earth, everyone watching fell to the ground.

When the kite flew high into the sky, then everyone jumped off the ground and they rose high into the air.

Lily, a tiny ogre, was screaming, “make it stop, I don’t like it.”

The kite began to dance as it moved.

“This is not funny.” Mrs Groundsel puffed as she jigged about.

“I think I know who did this.” Breeze said and marched into the wood.

Tulip couldn’t pull the kite down. It continued to dance in the sky. Everyone watching danced on the grass.

“I’m too old for this.” Mrs. Groundsel said.

Breeze arrived back with a squealing young witch called Lovisma, tucked under his right arm.

“Let me down you oaf.”

He plonked her on the ground, saying, “Lovisma, I’m not an oaf. I’m an ogre.”

Lovisma saw the dancing crowd before her. She cackled with delight. “Oh you do look funny. My friends would love to see this.”

Breeze said,  “make it stop or I will lock you in with Hamish’s pet skunk, Smelly.”

“No, No, No.  You can’t. He stinks.”

“Why shouldn’t we? You have been nasty.” Breeze said.

“You are nice.” She looked at her feet. “You don’t do stuff like that.”

Breeze said, “Lovisma, make it stop.”

She clicked her fingers and the kite raced landed on the ground. Everyone sat for a rest.

“You are one mean witch,” Tulip said.

“But it was funny, wasn’t it?” Lovisma whispered.  “It wasn’t that nasty. Maybe I should try it in another part of the wood and tell my friends to come watch.”

Breeze said, “No you won’t.”

Lovisma trudged away saying, “Breeze is an oaf, a big spoilsport oaf.”

Everyone shouted after her, “No he is an Ogre!”

 

 

7 Ways to avoid becoming an Ogre’s snack.

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  1. Look Happy.

Ogres’ love happy people and beings. Grumpy witches make them itch.

  1. Sing soft lullabyes, Ogre’s love music and have a penchant for napping.

3.  Smell like a bar of chocolate. They love smelling chocolate but hate eating it. The downside of this is if you are a slow mover you may be caught and given a cuddle,  which is tantamount to being squished.

  1. Tell them you are Breeze’s seventh cousin. By the time they figure it out you will be long gone.
  2. Offer them the book you are reading. They will read it first then eat it, giving you time to run away.
  3. Admire their clothes. They are highly fashionable and will rush to the nearest mirror to try and see what they put on that is so stunning.
  4. Bring a politician you don’t like with you, they can munch on them instead of you.